Kangaroos. They’re nasty little buggers… have a geeze at this vid - it’s like they’re battlin’ out a gangland turf war…

Boxing Kangaroo Video on Youtube

Mad propz to jezzamiabullfrog for capturing this awesome footage!

If you cuddle a koala then you might catch the clap but fuck with a kangaroo and you’ll get a bitch slap.

Kangaroos can kick the absolute crap out of humans and they like nothing better than rolling (hopping, actually) with their mob (aka troop), shaking eucalyptus trees and intimidating their wimpy wallaby cousins. These critters turn into Bouncing Death Monsters when provoked so poking them with a stick is heartily discouraged.

If you couldn’t tell from the youtube vid, kangaroos “box” by balancing on their beefcake tails and kicking really, really hard into the belly and groin of their opponent. Consider that their legs have evolved for jumping and are incredibly powerful, such activity can make for a very sore belly and groin. The common backpacker’s belly and groin usually hurts enough after a night on the turps (i.e. days ending in ‘day’) so they sure as shit shouldn’t be looking to tussle with a kangaroo anytime this experience of a lifetime.

Yeah sure, kangaroos are cute in a wiry, dogfaced sort of way but remember, Kangaroos are a menace to drivers, especially at night! They’ll hop safely away from your Wicked campervan when they see you coming but the headlights from your rental camper will cast a shadow in front them as you get closer to them. This scares the living shit out of them! Rather than pick a fight with their own shadow, kangaroos moronically prefer to fling themselves in front of your most excellent vehicle just in time to cop the full brunt of your Recreational Velocity.

The WORST Thing You Can Do Whilst Backpacking in Australia Is SWERVE to avoid hitting a kangaroo or any other animal!!

To put it in simple English:

“Just run the fuckers over!”

To be a little more precise, hit the brakes and maintain your direction.
Don’t feel bad about running them down… we’ve got shitloads of ‘em!

Likely outcome of running down a suicidal ratbag kangaroo

  • Minor vehicle damage, and
  • one dead roo

Likely outcome of swerving to avoid boofhead kangaroos

  • van rolls four times down a steep hill and crashes into a gumnut tree, and
  • up to three dead backpackers.

At least you saved the Kangaroo’s life…

Do you think the little mongrels appreciate it? Not a bloody chance! If they could talk and use phones these skeevy little bastards would call a tow truck company in order to get the finders fee (hint: you can profit from witnessing motor vehicle accidents in Australia) before they called the ambulance (if at all… grubs!). The National Emergency phone number in Australia is 000 as in Zero, Zero, Zero as in Triple Oh… dial that that number when you risk the lives of the friends and hitchhiking strangers in your van by swerving to avoid a kangaroo and you need the Police, Fire & Ambulance services to come by and scoop you up.

REMEMBER: It is better to kickbox a kangaroo with your kombi than it is to careen off a cliff in a campervan!

You can find kangaroos and other animals at Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary on the Gold Coast or at Australia Zoo in Beerwah near the Sunshine Coast

Here’s another video of kangaroo’s boxing. It’s a bit lame compared to the first one but if you check out Youtube’s related videos you’ll probably find some sweet ones.

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